I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
