On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
