so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Terrible idea I love it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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