I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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