1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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