Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
