Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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