He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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