miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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