Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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