yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
