Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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