He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can text with my tongue
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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