whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
