new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this just has baby written all over it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
