then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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