Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
