OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
