That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
