I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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