I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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