): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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