I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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