He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
