I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
