R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
