Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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