Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
