Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
