i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
