She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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