i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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