At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
