Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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