let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
