Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
