So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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