Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
