If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
