I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
