Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u

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(703): View more from Virginia

She'll never know what hit her

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip

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(208): View more from Idaho

She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".

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(315): View more from New York

Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?

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(334): View more from Alabama

I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.

(334): View more from Alabama

I stand by my new policy.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship

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(708): View more from Illinois

Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Why does my car smell like burnt toast?

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...

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