READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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