Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
