Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
