a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
