Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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