Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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