That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
