i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
try to milk me bitch
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
