i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
